*Happiness*

* In Response to Previous Blog Entry by Servbot *

I love that article that Servbot had posted. It allows me to take a look at what are some of the things that people regret when they die. But then when one is sick, their physical condition would have influenced how they felt and think. I don't know..

I've always been interested in learning how to be happy, because I wasnt very happy when I was a teenager. Then I tried all sorts of different ways to really get happiness. Eventually happiness isnt just a definition. It has to be an understanding. To me, everyone wants to be happy. But it isnt so simple neh~

So let's take a walk into Reiko's art gallery entitled "Happiness".

Disclaimer: This is just my personal opinion at this moment and stage! Read just for reference wor~

I think Happiness is a beautiful thing. It's just like sweet flowers that have just bloomed. The taste would have been sugar sweet. Translated to real life, I guess it would be enjoying all the friends gathering, shopping, dining, loving...etc(Too many to be listed). But if happiness is just defined as such, we would never be really happy, for we will constantly be in a state of deprive. Because in a pretty week of life, only our weekends(PRECIOUS WEEKEND!) can be dedicated to it. When I am a student, I totally enjoy my life! Totally! I had all the freedom in the world, to do what I want, to dress how I want, and behave how I want to. But when you enter the working system, there are too many restrictions, so only the weekends become available for such sugary fun.

However, I have always strive hard to get what I cannot get/do not have and want. Thus, sometimes I thought to myself, howcome I must wait till Friday before I can really be happy? Why cant I be happy from Monday to Sunday? When happiness is a need for you, you will find ways to be happy. You will develop all sorts of different ways to be happy! And lead a happy life! lol..

To be happy, or develop different ways to be happy, you must first have an open mind, to explore, and embrace different experiences. You must constantly find ways that you can control, and get the happiness you want. So the definition of happiness must go beyond pleasure. It could also be a peace in the heart and mind. For example, why must you be with someone else to enjoy something? On your own, you can have a little personal journey, doing all sorts of things that you thought should be done together with someone. Never restrict yourself. Be open and not stifled by your "This should be done this way" judgements that wouldnt do much help except make you feel negative.

To be happy, you must understand how your life works. Life isnt always a bed of roses~ Everyone knows this. But how is it related to happiness? Of cos it does! Your happiness depends on how you react to the not very "rosie" moments. lol.. For example, how do you deal with failures, setbacks, criticisms, betrayal etc etc etc. My emotions gets crazy sometimes, really crazy. So in my opinion, happiness depends on

1. How you respond to not so "rosie" moments. Do you sink deep, or do you complain, or do you calmly deal with it?

2. Im not really skillful with my emotions. Therefore the second question is how long do you take to face and deal with it OR how long do you take to place it down. Therefore I really admire people who are very rational, broadhearted, and resilient.

The thing is we must be broadhearted. But this cannot be done simply by a repression of our emotions. It must be done with understanding, which can only be done, when we regain our emotion stability and rationality. Oh cool~ Then we can start thinking about why we had been upset in the first place. If it's with people, depending on seriousness, I might get heated up(internally) then forget; Reject further damaging done to me; Whatever solution you take, time plays a part. I wished I could not even get heated up in the first place. But I cant. So I can only hope to reduce the time.

If it's problems troubling me, I'll think of how I can solve it, and try to learn ways to prevent them. For me, I seek help from books. But you have to have the eye of criticism. Therefore you must think for yourself too~ Books as reference, me tries to understand it, then come up with my own interpretation. Seriously~ For example recently, I was really delighted to realize that you need not go through the failure itself, to gain experience! The analogy used by the writer was of a psychologist. He need not be you or experience the probs, to cure you. You can gain experience from others who had been through failures, and learn from them. Splendid isnt it! (:
If you make an effort to resolve whatever probs or deficiencies that you might have, you are doing something that's within your control. Im sure the prob will be solved eventually. According to two books I've read, both the writers believe strongly that all problems can be solved. One of the writer said that if you just want to achieve something, you'll never be able to keep to it, cos it's just a WANT. But if it's a MUST, then it's different. Because you MUST achieve it, you'll continuously work and do everything to achieve the goal~ Therefore happiness will be with you, if you treat failures as experiences, and continuously learn to improve yourself. (:

Another of my unhappiness comes trivially from unrequited love. Oh no~ lol.. Recently, an idea suddenly pop into my head. I don't know about you, but for me, I always fall for people I admire. hehe.. I think, the reason why you like that someone is because he or she has something that you dont have~ Therefore, if you want someone like that, first, you must become someone that you love. It sounds crazy I know. I am not talking about imitating others. I am talking about being someone that you will fall for! If you like cuties, be a cutie yourself! lol.. I never like it when I see one person dominating another person. We are unique and precious individuals! There's this title I saw one day at a bookstore. It's called 只是情緒糟，不是我很糟, or something like that. I think it's quite cool, and it triggered me to realize that we are individuals with value. We do not need others to give us values or to judge us and give us a value. When it involves others, it's only a position. A 位置. We are valuable! *Hug* My tuition kid once told me that one must have confidence to succeed~ Well-said! lol..

Happiness is not just about me! Helping others in all sorts of areas gives me happiness too! I love to drop coins or notes when I see flagraising kids. I remember when I went flagraising, I was really happy when someone drop in a ten dollar note! There, you instantly learn generosity and kindness. I like to think that these kids would learn this too, when I donate. Helping people doesnt necessary have to be needy people. Helping one another gives you happiness too!! Seriouslyyyyyy~ When you only have yourself in your mind, how can you be happy? Only when you have experienced helping others selflessly, without thinking about your own gains, you will experience the happiness (: Dalai Lama tweeted "I feel that the moment you adopt a sense of caring for others, it brings you inner strength" & "We need a genuine sense of responsibility and a sincere concern for the welfare of others".

Life is a journey. Life is full of changes, with all the different start and end. Thus happiness can be with you, when you try to read it like a book, think, learn, and change your thinking.

That's what I think, for now. lol..

Love,
Reiko

P.S 紫竹林沒有被燒。哈哈。。

+ No parts of this essay can be copied or used without the writer's permission!! It's my work~ +