wasting my energy...

well... seemed that even when i typed out
my opinions not impt then i will juz delete them...
i dun want to talk to face to face because u wont like wad i had to say...
n seriously will end up w mi screaming or even worse...
n waste of my phone bill...

i m an extreme person...
i muz say i m a revengeful person...
if there's the way u tink...
i have nothing to say....
it seemed like i m wasting my time...
i moved the whole thg to my blog...
since i m wasting my breath here...
shd use the time to finish term papers rite?
after all they are worth much more it seemed...

Shini

apologies n explanations...

ok... i finally decided to take a break b4 i die of stress...
n i tink there are thgs i nid to say...
well... i nid to say them long long time ago actually...

first of all...
an apology to all of u cause i kinda of lost contact w everi1 due to chicken pox...
i hate being sick...
so many makeup lessons n reports i nid to do juz because i cant go out for 2 wks!!!
then i had a fever n terrible headache n cant seemed to concentrating on anithg...
so neglected tis blog... n all of u...
for tis i sincerely apologise...

2ndly...
another apolopy to all of u for not replying the tagboard...
cause i cant seem to post anithg on it...
n then cant even see anithg...
so i dun realli noe wad u are all talking abt...
i try to fix it soon i hope...

3rdly...
another apology n an explanation...
haiz... i m realli sorrie abt my attiude... dunno how many sat ago...
ok... i noe i seem to drag it long enough...
but i dun have time n energy to do anithg...

aniway...
but i had to say...
i m realli upset that day...
n therefore... i had said thgs in anger...

well... 1st of all (why do i keep listing everithg? sorrie sidetrack...)
i m under a lot of stress n veri close to breaking down i mean seriously...
n finally i m able to get in the mood to finish readings n preparing for my presentations that i nid to hand in the nxt day...
yet wenya had to make mi stop...

2ndly...
i had said dozens of time that i dun want to go out cause i m afraid that plans will have to all thrown away due to my illness... as wad had happened...
talk abt luck!!!!!! who had chicken pox on 21st birthday!!!!!!!
i mean the doc kept asking how old m i...
n i said... tmr 21... n the doc was like so surprised... even more when my mc ends on april fool day...
how lucky can i be? talk abt my luck or the lack of...
aniway... no one listen to wad i said....
i said so many times n no one takes mi seriously...
aaaah!!!
it's frustrating to tell ppl thgs again n again... n everi1 thinks u are joking...
well... when they say pisces has great intuition... cant they be wrong?!!!
haiz...

n the prob is...
i found out that jupiter was angry w wad i say...
which is ironic cause u are not there...
n i admit i said irresponsible thgs out of anger...
n i apologised for it...

BUT there is sth i hope u noe...
cause i tink there is some miscommunication...
cause i said...
u all nvr take my words seriously n i said i dun want to celebrate cause i might be sick then...
that's why i told u all not to plan...
i din ask u all to plan n i said dun plan... but did ani of u listen? no...
that's why i was so upset that day...
at least that's wad i tink i said that day...
so i admit i m wrong to say such thgs n i apologised but i still tink u nid to noe that if u oni focus on that sentence alone n think that i m ungrateful n all...
then i had nothing to say...
cause my focus is different frm urs...

hey! it sounds like my translation module lect notes...
sth like what hit my uncle was the ball or what the ball hit was my uncle...
same sentence frm the ball hit my uncle... but the focus is different...
ok... sidetrack again... i go move my train back a moment... u all wait hor...

ok... enough lame joke...
aniway... i want to say i m sorry but not that i said that sentence... ok mayb i m but the prob is i m not realli happy at the fact that u oni heard one sentence n u are upset... hmm... m i being incoherent le? it seemed that my pts are a bit like a paradox...
happy... upset... n i dunno... blame on the stress... not mi :p

aniway...
wad was i gg to say... sorrie i m typing everithg that comes to my mind...
cause i tink that is the best way to convey my thoughts so sorrie if i was a bit here n there...
ok... i noe sidetrack again...

aniway...
i hope that we are all still friends?...

still 2 more thgs...
first... dun tink i can go aniwhere soon... cause too many thgs i m not supposed to eat for the nxt 3 mths... no egg, chicken, garlic, peanuts... (hazelnuts consider as a type of nuts? if yes... there goes my chocolate...) anythg that got to do w beans as well... like beancurd, soyabean...
so have to eat at home... haiz... dun tink will see u all... mayb after the exams...
n plus i had a test on thur n i miz 5 lect out of the 10 lect for the exam n it's a science module... 1 report to hand in on sat, 2 termpapers on 14/4, one grp paper that is disastrous on 18/4 n exams start on 28/4... tis weekend... nid to attend some rituals... cant do work... i m gg crazy le...
so juz to say... i might "disappear" for quite sometime....

lastly!!!!! finally... nid to go back to study...

i want to thank u all for ur bday gifts!!!!!!
realli love it....
nid to say somethg... the bag was the exact copy of the bag my aunt bought for mi for my bdae except for the colour!!! n I LOVE THEM!!!
haha...seemed that everyone noe my taste... haha...
thxs a lot!!! u guys spent so much on my gift...
realli thxs!!! yes... haha i saw the pricetag inside...
thxs a lot!!!

ok... before i kept gg on n on... i tink i shd go back to work on my report...
e termpaper that i got back said i lacked logic...
haha did it w a fever... of course like that haha
ok... take care everione n i seriously apologised for everithg... but hope that nxt time u all dun cut some n take the meaning... (anione can guess the chinese words? 4 words.... ani guesses? haha)
n i hope u all take my words seriously...
after all... pisces has great intuition rite? :p
ok... gotta go...

shini

a story to share...

ok...

i know it had been so long since i updated

i m back to sch now w dozens of term paper n lots of make up to do even w i got at least 3 term term papers to be handed in n a major exam nxt wk... plus the rest of the exams being so near...

n i was supposed to be typing out term papers n presentations or study for test...

yes i repeat....they are all nxt week deadlines...

but i saw one of my fav author's updates...

a one-shot...

n it's one veri gd piece!!!

I LOVE IT!!!

i wanted to share tis w u all cause i tink at least a few of us was guilty of not replying sms n thgs...

i noe i m one of them...

n i will recommend it to everyone out there...

For Voicemail, Press Two by cjmarie

i read it at fan fic . net

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4176169/1/For_Voicemail_Press_Two

umm... not sure if i can put the link like that...

so dun sue mi ok?... haha

it's a gundam wing fan fic...

but i dun tink u nid to know anithg abt gundam wing...

the end was like so shocking!!!

the moral of the story was that you should answer ur phone...

it makes mi realize how easy it is for people to ignore sms or msgs when u are busy esp when u noe ur friends will understand...

but tis simple neglience can cause drastic consquences....

really recommend it to everyone out there...

n i want to apologise to everyone that i did not return sms, emails n everithg cause i m busy...

i will try to improve nxt time...

n to everione who has been guilty of tis b4... let tis be a reminder...

n ps. i still cant tag in our tagboard since dunno when... i will try to tag again when i m using laptop... so sorrie if i miz anithg at the tagboard... always a blank to mi...

2007 resolns...

1.muz study every wk... instead of hugging fo's legs...
ok... definitely failed!!! i got too busy w tuition n stuff that i did not study... so nxt year definitely muz do it!

2. muz not lose temper easily...
i did lose my tempers... so i did not do it well... 555~ but i lost less tempers than past years... so mayb... but it could be due to the fact that i m too busy? hmm... i wonder...

3. muz not put everithg off...
ok... i failed again!!! i cant seem to stop putting everithg off...

4. muz find a job to earn $...
yes!!! i got tuition jobs... one at enrichment center... another home tuition of siblings...nxt sem... more got 3 sides plus my sis having psle...

5. muz not waste $...
ok... i bought a lot of thgs n esp shoes... though cheap... they are not durable... mayb i shd buy one gd one...

2008 resolns...

1. muz study hard!!!
2. less arguing w my parents and be more filial to them
3. be more patient and show more care for everyone
4.less indecisive... n more firm...
5. help my sister,cousin n the girl i m giving tuition to get good score for her PSLE...
6. save more money
7. update n complete my stories
8. do not do thgs last min...

happy new year everyone!!! mina-san, gan batte kudasai! happy new year!!!

an entry--- iynix...

dark clouds looming... i feel it's gg to rain soon... n when it rains, i dunno if i can survive...

hey... so sorrie for not updating 4 super long...
i noe i have a lot of half-done entries...
so sorrie... but been realli busy...
realli tired... exam wk for the pri sch last week...
i m so tired... haiz... n they failed all their subjects... haiz i m useless....
aniway enough of my ranting...

hey xianhao... take care...
i noe it's so sudden... n it might take sometime b4 u get used to the idea that she's gone...
jia you...

juz sth to share...
hope that it helped...

i rmb juz a few mth ago... when i was discussing china's history w xiujuan when my dad rushed out n then my mum made mi end my call without saying y...
everyone was quiet n waiting...
then after an hr, the phone rang...
the nxt sentence i heard my mum say to us... u dun have ye ye animore...
it's sudden... it's shocking... then the tears would juz started to flow...

quite a number of years ago...
when i was in pri six... preparing 4 psle...
my grandma (mother's side) was sick...
she was admitted into the hospital 4 a few months... operation n everithg...
i rmb that day clearly even though it was so long ago...

on that day i was arguing w my mum...
she wanted us to go to my grandparents' hse but i wanted to go to sch...
i rmb that i would b getting back my testpapers which i was veri sure i did well...
my mum was very angry and scolded mi... then she cried...
i was stunned n shocked... i had nvr seen my mum cried b4...
she din say anithg later n then we juz reach there...
it was then i realized that my grandma was gg to someplace far far away...

i dunno... if it was juz mi or wad...
but when i realized that i have lost someone who cared abt mi...
i began to recall the times w them...
i rmb how my yeye had always laughed n talked to mi n my sis abt the seafood he bought...
i rmb how my ah ma used to bring mi n my sis out, be it to the temple or juz macdonald...
n then i realized that those days were over...

however, no matter wad happens...

i noe that they wanted mi n everione they care abt to live n b happy...
they wanted us to smile n be happy... not to cry n wallow in sorrow...
so life goes on...

sorrie... i tink i m babbling... but juz want to say... take care... n well... dry ur tears...

aniway... another thg i want to say it's that...
ok... i noe tis sounds realli bad... but it's juz one feeling i always get during or after a funeral...
u realli get to noe ur cousins... aunts or uncles... better...
it's like a family gathering...
but it is one gathering i hope i can nvr have to attend...
but spending whole days doing nothing but folding those papers n praying...
ppl tend to spend more time talking....
mayb it is one of the motives of the funeral?
to bond the family even if he or she had passed away?
but then again... i always hoped i nvr had to attend another funeral...

born, age, sick n die...
sth everi1 had to go thru, no matter wad...
but so wad if it cant b helped?
juz live life to its fullest...

aniway... i m not sure wad i m typing le...
but juz want to ask everi1 to take care n jia you...
since i tink i m like lost touch w everi1 le...

my exams n grandfather...

ok... i had been real busy...

no time to sleep much less to study...

juz a short update on my life...

more on my blog...

tis wk is exam week...

but sth more imptly came up...

my grandfather--ye ye passed away on tue nite...

too sudden too abrupt...

i still have diffculties believing that i dun have a ye ye animore...

i write sth... so guess i put it here?

sorrie xianhao... but u have a long wait for pursuit for the star...

so sorrie... but now realli no mood to write...

so sorrie... i cant even study for exams...

did badly for all my papers since i got no time to prepare for them...

here's sth to share...

sth i have written on wed morning....

《踏莎行》 离开
云朵吹散，凄风苦雨。浪起浪落未平复，昙花凋谢惨凄凄。他人离开不回看。
泪水滴滴， 以无阻力。忆起昔日开心事，想起微笑那慈祥。但为何突然不见了？

ok... the second one is english...
without a word,
without a warning,
he's suddenly gone and all i know it's morning.


never had we been very close
but he had always been there
someone i respect
yet all a sudden he's gone.


without a word,
without a warning,
he's gone.

no one believed it's happening.
everyone must be dreaming.
it's just a nightmare n coincedience
that everyone had the same nightmare.

he's gone.

all a sudden he's gone,
forever and ever.
it had to be a nightmare.
it had to be!

it's too sudden...
too abrupt...
too unfair...