MIA xinying is fiNally bacK..

Paging... Paging 4 xinying...

Yes.. Finally I'm back! Sorry 4 going MIA 4 quite a few weeks. I haf 2 apologise on tat.. 1st time I neglect e blog 4 so long w/o noticing it.

1st, I haf 2 tell xianhao n wenya 2 jia you! Xianhao, dun gif up on singing. U were brave n bold enough alr. It's juz tat e judges may nt appreciate ur voice n due 2 天时，地利，人合 u weren't able 2 make it. But we, zhui xing members, r so proud of u!

Next, I haf 2 tell wenya 2 jia you! I noe e pain of losing ur loved one. But I hope u will get over it soon. U can always remember ur grandma n at e same time, be brave so tat u can console ur mum n nt let her worry 4 u k? We r always a phone call, a msg or a blog entry away.. s0 make use of this privilege k? Ur grandma will be blessed in e eternal world.

Let me share wif u my story last yr..

Last yr, a similar incident happened to my family. My grandpa passed away.

I wasn't really very closed to him. However, I did pay him regular visits when he was at the rehabiliation home. Many occasions when I were there, he couldn't recognise me. I felt sad. In my heart, I wished he could utter my name and knew my presence. But I didn't give up and continued 2 visit him, because he's my grandpa. I shouldn't be like his unfilial grandchildren, who only bothered 2 turn up juz 4 the funeral. My conscience didn't want me 2 behave in the way that they did.

Juz few days b4 the JC2 prelim exams, something shocking happened. I was in school when the news reached me. My dad rang me and said: " Ying, we're rushing to Alexandra Hospital. Grandpa is sick. His internal organs are failing him and he is not able to eat anymore. I'm afraid he's old and can't take it..."

When I heard this, I was dumbfounded. My mind was in a whirl. My brain had a series of flashbacks. The times when I visited him.. when he was healthy and strong.. When he had such a good appetite.. When he proved that he was strong by shouting at the nurses and when I wheeled him around. I couldn't described how I felt at the point in time. I juz know that I muz hurry to the hospital.

When I reached his bed, I felt a strong urge to cry. I juz couldn't believe what I saw. My grandpa's body was reduced to mere bones with a layer of skin covering it. He was so different from the times at the home. My cousins were there too. One of them was holding on to his hand. I was touched by the act. She told me that she felt sad cos she couldn't stay in Singapore to take care of grandpa when he was ill. She asked me if grandpa was really going to the eternal world soon. " I think so. He's already so thin and can't consume food. The nurses have to pour milk into drip, and let it transfer into his body." I said, with tinge of sadness.

My grandpa was a brave man. He fought with the God of death 4 quite sometime b4 he really lost the battle. My heart was in pain whenever I heard his scream when the nurses put in tube into his mouth or gave him injection. I juz wished his sufferings could stop. I knew he couldn't take this due to his age. He wanted to eat his favourite food so badly but couldn't. He couldn't speak clearly due to the tube that was connected to his mouth and nose. It was a sharp contrast to the past when his voice was loud.

What I could do that time was to hold his hand and let him know that he wasn't alone. My mother said got germs and all. But I didn't care. I didn't want to regret 4 life. What I received was warmth from my grandpa. What I see was a brave soldier. I was really proud of him.

On the last day of prelims, my grandpa left silently with few of us present to witness it. I was very sad. I couldn't control my tears. b4 that, every night I prayed that he muz wait till I finish exam.. Till now I regretted.. I didn't tell him that I love him. But at least I did what I could.

Wenya, what u can do now is to take gd care of ur mum n urself. N 2 pray 4 ur grandma. I believe e gd will be rewarded even when they r in eternal world. I share this story with u, not only cos it's my duty 2 blog, but also hope tat u'll be alright after a while. It's nt easy.. but when u need concern n encouragement, we're always here. Will miss u cos u can't come kbox tmr. Do keep in touch k?

Dear all,
Cherish every1 u love every min, every sec of ur life..

Xinying ....