The Burdensome Contract

Looking at celebrity news recently, it seems to give me the impression that marriage is like a plaything. The divorce case between Nicholas and Cecilia. Glenn Ong plunging into his 3rd marriage with Jean Danker after divorcing with his 2nd-ex wife Jamie Yeo. Not that I care about their personal lives, but the recent influx of marriage and divorce news is a little getting into my nerves.

Down to the 'ordinary' people, it appears to be the opposite. More people are getting cautious in stepping into marriage.


From: http://news.omy.sg/News/Local%2BNews/Story/OMYStory201106230407-254472.html

不结婚原因比想象中复杂

适婚年龄还保持单身的人“苦衷”多多，结不结婚？问题比想像中复杂许多。

目前单身的梁添明（29岁，银行职员）打算在33或34岁才结婚。他估计，房子首期和筹备婚礼的费用大约10万元。他说：“我觉得要有了经济基础才结婚比较妥当，尤其是现在的屋价屡创新高，还有高通货膨胀率。筹备婚礼所需的钱，是很大的负担。因此我希望能在事业上打拼后才结婚。”

他不担心迟婚可能影响生育能力，因为这方面男生比女生占优势，如果35岁以后还不结婚，才会担心这点。虽然他现在没有女朋友，但他不想要通过社交发展网或私人红娘公司来找女朋友。若找不到心仪的对象，他也不介意做单身汉。

考虑终身大事，男生较理性，女生则似乎感性一些。也是单身贵族的连小姐（28岁，建筑工料测量师）虽然有不少追求者，但因为没有“对的感觉”所以迟迟未接受别人的感情。她以结婚为交往的前提，所以要找一个自己喜欢、能长期相处、跟他在一起很开心的人。她认为，除了对未来丈夫有要求，目前常要加班、大部分同事是女性的工作环境也影响了她的社交圈子。

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Statistics showed that the marriage rate in 2010 dropped for the first time since 2003, despite government efforts to encourage marriage. It has been discussed that importing more foreigners does not help in increasing the marriage rate, since they are as well-educated and like-minded as Singaporeans. Maybe it's time to import low-skilled foreigners then? Haha.

Referring to the article, the interviewees listed reasons for not planning to get married for the time being.

True, buying a house and holding a wedding ceremony are costly. Well, one can choose to remain in his current house. Purchasing a new house may not be necessary. If you can't afford to hold a wedding, then make do without. Marriage is a matter between 2 persons, is there a need to make it so grand, and shout to the whole world that you're getting married?

If one prefers to find his partner by himself, and refuses to approach matchmaking agency, then good luck. If one is stuck in a mostly same-sex working environment, then all the best. Singlehood is the price to pay for fussiness and shyness.

In order to boost the marriage rate, it looks like traditional mindsets regarding marriage have to change. If people nowadays no longer regard marriage as a 'must-do', abandoning the past beliefs of our ancestors, why are we still strongly clinging on to all the traditional requirements of a marriage?