+ My Confusion with Myself +

Have you ever seen a weird person like that?

Or maybe it is just my imagination.

I thought I am weird, but it is only from the perspective of my eyes and mind. Maybe I am not as weird as I think. haha..

Maybe it isn't weird to love 钮承泽, to love 张钧宁,
to obsess over my teacher,
to want to cut my hair just because I suddenly want to do so,
to wish to become somebody else that is better,
to feel disgusted by myself sometimes,
to hope to change for the better,
to want to laugh, and then feel disgusted about it.

Maybe it is ok, to imagine myself floating into a nice pink bubble, floating floating, and stopping just nicely at this piece of green leaf, and then disappear into thin air in a split second.

Maybe it is ok, to love to imagine myself lying on a patch of grass, with rain water pouring down on me, and I feel so comfy and alright.

Maybe it is ok, for the time being, to be myself, while I learn to love, to care, to share, to learn, and to do so many so many things I want and demand from myself.

Maybe I am just a soft rebel.

Wanting to change, but ever so cautious. Seriously, did I successfully make a change! I yell from the bottom of my heart.

Could this be good?

Whatever the case, I don't ever want to become someone whom I will never approve of.

Oh dear, what confusion!

I just want to be a human human.

A new name for my current identity. A soft rebel.

*Wenya*