When meaning breaks the limit and go out of control Soliloquy

Its been a 1000 years since I last blogged here. Sumimasen. This, in japanese means sorry. :)
Its recess week next week. I'll be having a one week break, before everything starts rushing madly again. My studying life is basically a romantic mechanical structure. Romantic, as in you read all sorts of different readings, even though I may not understand every single thing that has been written, but I guess this is kind of a poetic stress. Though you wouldnt feel poetic when you're in it. You only feel poetic when you get out of it. But ultimately, the ideal situation is to feel poetic while in it. Mechanical, because basically all I need to do, is to read, get stress, feel depress, encourage myself, continue to read... The emotion is like a cycle. I think. I may not be right. :)



I realised I have no direction. No clear definite direction. I am disappointed to be trapped in such a condition. Still..tts reality. Or if you wan to be accurate, a temporary state defined by my own perception and mindset at a specific point of time. I would like to eat Japanese desserts, pizza, nice warm waffle, or a tall glass of lemonade. I would like to run in green fields, under the blue sky, like those perfectly taken photos. My soul needs something like tt, to fly. Its not rational. Its a feeling. There may be, there is probably, a reason that explains this kind of imagination and feeling. But I am afraid, I dont have any answer myself.



What happens, when one does not have answers for one's own emotions, or one's imagination or one's own thought. I gradually begin to realise I have these unanswered questions. I gradually begin to feel a boundary in the mind. I gradually felt the importance of getting away for awhile. I gradually learn to accept complex. I gradually realise I am not complex enough to untangle complexity.


And so, wad is the whole point?
There is no point.
There is no definition.
There is no end point.


Here's a nice song.

*Juliette*