Loner

I dunno whats wrong wif me.
I don't want to be loner. I find myself being so lonely lately.
I haven't been able to forge good relationships with my colleagues even up till now. Right now, i am still going lunch breaks on my own. And i basically just do my own things and shut up most of the time.

Today, i was sitting in a corner alone and then doing work. Then one of my colleagues came and ask me to sit closer to them. I was happy at 1st, cos i felt like they actually bothered about me. But dunno why when i sit with them, i feel even more lonely lor.
Worse still, i think i sort of find out that they have been saying things behind my back. Dunno what kinda stuff lar. I think a few of the dealers were also bitching about me to my colleagues lor. Aiyah also dunno i too sensitive or what. But my "radar" for this kinda thing usually quite accurate one.

Today was like totally crazy lor, keep on answering calls and the calls keep coming. Worse is some of these calls actually lasted as long as 20 minutes lor. Wah lau, my throat is just about to recover wor, but i think at this rate, i will continue to sound like "ah du".

Haiz, i dun like it leh. Why am i stuck in this situation? What am i doing this for?
Is it like that becos they were already very close when i got here?
Or was it becos i close up to them?
Haiz.

For those of you who have friends at school or at work to accompany you everyday.
I just think you are simply really lucky.

Xian Hao