my feelings..

Thanks Reina. Ur videos really help to cheer me up a little. But ya.. as u noe.. this period is my 低潮期。My emotions really sank to the bottom. Nobody can help me I noe. I muz help myself. As I'm told repeated: "time will heal the wound". But I thought I'll write something as a medium to express emotions. It's really been long since I'm hit by such thing. The last time I feel really sad was when my grandpa passed away. It was during A level year. I guess I really put in 2 much emotions in my relationships with others.

My dear friends.. thanks for being there and listen to me. Maybe u think wat u say will not be of help, but it really did console me a little. Even a tiny bit. I hope 我输了爱情，赢了友情。But really.. I need time. It's really not easy to take it. Let alone forget. The feeling is just like u build a strong sand castle, yet u nv realise it's so weak that it topples. Worse is u didn't noe wat went wrong. But u still like the castle u build. Cos u put in so much effort to maintain it from not toppling down. Now u r forced to accept it has toppled and can't build back the same one again.

But I guess most humans are selfish. They'll only tink of their own interest. 感情就没有谁对谁错。But imagine people u r very close to already treats u like this. Let alone people in the working society. I think it has taught me a lesson. I shouldn't trust someone so much. I should learn to love myself more instead of always thinking for others. Tat's wat Reina said. How I wish I can be strong.. strong and numb to all hurt. It's impossible. I shall try not to think so much.

I choose not to slp today. I wanna see 日出。And really can't sleep. I got so much things to tell him. But sadly, I'm not given the chance to. Not even till the point of breaking up. Frenz tell me it's better this way. Better to hear it from him. But I think there's no much difference.

I'm really a 嘴硬心软 person. So I hope I won't have any arguments with anyone of u. I dun wan to lose any close friend anymore.

This is so emotional. So unlike me. But I believe on sat when I rebond my hair, I will be better. 心情不好的时候，我喜欢改变自己。Esp hair.. Cos it signifies a brand new start.

I won't regret. Cos I've tried my best. I'm proud of myself. Cos I tink I did not lose afterall. Because I know how to love. How to care. Unlike some pathetic individuals who are so full of themselves.

I think love is blind. I hope I can stop thinking about it alr. I can do it. Help me to fill the big hole in my heart k? I really need to regain back my strength.

Mango~