*Reina Forum*

Hi all! This month seems to be my turn to contribute to the Zhui xinG Forum!
I've decided to use a new format for my forum page of the month. Please do type your opinions in this particular blog entry. That means, dont write a separate entry, and just continue it in the following format!

Date: xxxxx Time: xxxxx

*YOUR opinions*

*Ur name*

Okie..Here's the topic of the month!

"IS Love more important than Self-worth?"

*Here, self worth refers to anything related to one's value, like financial value, self-esteem etc.
Love refers to romance relationship. Not inclusive of other kinds of love.

Date: 5.10.2007 Time: 15:14

This seems to be a direct question ya..but it is not that simple. For young people, maybe self-worth has much higher value than love and thus more important. For a start, lets not think so complicated, and just express our view 1st. What we really think.

Is love more important than self-worth? In my opinion, love is definitely not more important than self-worth.

Because a person has been surviving as a single for the first 20 years of her life. There is no necessity to have someone else. One can enjoy a love relationship, but it is not a must, or something that you really couldnt live without.

Furthermore, non-existence of a perfect soul mate makes it even more important to treasure self-worth than love. It is not always so easy to meet the right one. People may appear to be the right one, but most of the time you feel that its not. Because it's really not. haha.. Why sacrifice yourself or make oneself more miserable in the process of accomodating to others?

In my opinion, it is great if one can meet someone of the same level and direction. But most often, it is not so. Thus in order to protect ourself and our emotions, self-worth is more important than love. Worse still, after committing emotions and all, you may still fall down. Self-worth is definitely more important, as it guarantees a better quality of life, in terms of emotions etc.

*Reina*

Date: 7.10.2007 Time: 3.46pm

Ok. This discussion topic is phrased such a way that I think I have difficulty interpreting it. It sounds like a GP type of question. I shall express my opinions in my best ability.

"Is Love more important than self-worth?" this question is really judgemental. Different people will have different views. Love is something that is irrational. Most people in love will be ruled by passion over reason. It is not easy to stay rational when you are in love. Everything seems so romantic, good and you may want to stick to that person for the rest of your life. I believe that's true love.

If true love exists, or the person thinks happiness has reached him or her, self-worth may not seem as important. In the conservative Chinese society, many women seemed to give up their self-worth and pride just hoping to get true love. Men had many wives then. If they grew sick of a particular female, they could marry in other women to satisfy their lust. So in this context, I think those traditional women were really silly to lower themselves just for love. As I am a representative of the modern women's voice, I think women should not give up self-worth.

As you can see by now, I think self-worth is definitely more important than love. Though many writers have praised the wonders of love, I think all humans should have self-worth. My definition of self-worth here is dignity, pride and own judgement of right and wrong. One should not be manipulated by love or rather become "slave" to the other person. The term slavery in my opinion is like when someone controls the other person's mindset, behaviour etc.

I think love has the value only when the couple can see each other's good points. This is contributing to the individual's building of self-worth. Love is not like hurting each other, but motivating and encouraging that is great.

You can seek love in many ways. Though many people say there's a rare chance of encountering true love, I think there is no need to sacrifice self-worth just for it. If not, it's just disappointing parents who raised us up. Cos we don't know why we exist. And our lives just revolve around others. That's really saddening.

In my conclusion, self-worth is definitely more important than love. I hope my view sounds reasonable. I think my horoscope plays a big role. Cos Leo won't give up self-worth just for love.

Mango~

Date: 10/10/2007 Time: 2.55pm

oK, Self-worth now seems very much valuable than love. But is it really so in reality?

In reality, there are many cases where by people get cheated in love or just "normally" get hurt by love relationships. Do you think they are stupid enough not to know self-worth? What if it is your natural emotions thats preventing you from making a rational judgement. What if you just couldnt control yourself and fall in love, like you said, it was completely irrational. Even if there are no what ifs, what happens when you have this overpowerful emotion to be in love? Then does self-worth becomes more valuable or love? What if love becomes a kind of indicator or factor for self-worth? Then do you feel now that love is more important than self-worth, since love itself becomes a kind of self-worth..

Let the debate go on! Woo hoo.. :)

*Reina*

Date: 25/10/07 Time: 1947hrs

It is finally my turn to post something regarding this topic. Seriously, i have never given such any thought to these kinda chim question so lots of thinking to do and thoughts to process. Self worth or love, after thinking for so long, i think finally took a stand. I think self worth is more important, i agree with the points that mango and reina has previously stated. And just to add more points to support my idea. Will a person who doesn't love himself/herself be able to have much love to give others? Its definitely no. And i truly believe that in order to be able to love others, you must first be able to love urself. Just like in order to be a winner, u must be a good loser and in order to be a good leader, you must first be a good follower. Therefore, i stick to the motion that self worth is more important than love.

Pondering on Reina's question.

What if someone has the overpowerful emotion to be love? Then does self-worth becomes more valuable or love? What if love becomes a kind of indicator or factor for self-worth?

For this type of people, the situation is different, they need to be in love to satisfy their own emotional unsteadiness. Since this people NEED to fall in love so badly, they are basically doing so because of their own needs. Love becomes a need for them. It is a neccessity. So in the end, they are still satisfying themselves when they are in love. For the group of people, i believe, their self worth is rated according to the love the have. In the end, the bottom line is still that self worth is more important.

Well, i hoped i have done a good job debating on this topic. Haha. Will be waiting for any rebuttals or anymore questions.

~Jupiter

Date: 25/10/07 Time: 11.32pm

But maybe we are "self-worth" supporters. THere's always the saying "love is blind".. is there something to do with self-worth? if it's blind, will we go all out 2 pursue true love even if it makes our dignity low? There seems to be many real-life examples. Like one party pleading the other party to accept him/her again etc. Very drama i noe. But irrational ppl in luv, self-worth is really tt impt? or he/she doesn't mind to be little woman or little man? Supporting the dominating partner quietly?

Mango~